Game of Thrones Humor

I spent part of the evening last night building a new Game of Thrones deck, which I hope to try out on my unsuspecting co-workers today at lunch. Plus, I put it in some really nifty card-protecting sleeves and a metal box, so they will know that I am the 133t pow3r gam@r!

Here's a list of "Game of Thrones" archetypes I pulled off Fantasy Flight's forums. I'll substitute this for a real blog entry.

Ned: You spend money on the game but not too much. After all you have a family to support, and a card game simply cannot be too high of a priority in your life. You attend tournaments when you can, and try to treat all players equally regardless of their rank or experience. Because of this, you are sometimes seen as cold and unsympathetic. During tourneys, you avoid looking at other matches, as that would give you an unfair advantage over future opponents. Under no circumstances would you attempt to spoil the Wildling Deck

Cersei: You want to win tourneys, and you will stop at nothing to achieve this goal. You spend too much money on cards, and exploit every loophole you can discover to ensure victory. If that means attending 6 tourneys in as many days, so be it. During tourneys, you surreptitiously steal glances at other matches, anticipating your future opponents. If possible, you will attempt to spoil the wildling deck.

Theon: you would like to spend more money on cards, but find yourself unable. Therefore, you can't quite construct the ruthless deck of a Cersei player. Tournament losses leave you bitter and bloodthirsty, wins provoke you to much gloating and strutting. You are as unscrupulous as Cersei, yet lack her finesse.

Bran: You are compassionate and have a sincere desire for challenging gameplay, but find yourself unable to compete. Perhaps you have unavoidable commitments elsewhere, or lack the money. Yet, you do what you can, whining and complaining all the while.

Sansa: You enjoy attending tournaments, but do not focus too much on the winning and losing of them. Tourneys are above all social events, and you make new friends with unbridled yet courteous enthusiasm. Often you will bring snacks to share with the other players. You do not care to play with Apprentice, as it is too impersonal.

Tyrion: Like Cersei, you are unscrupulous in the advantages you can accumulate over others, and the money you can spend to make it happen. Yet, you do not use your power to win, only to challenge and bait the other players. You stay one step ahead of them, granting them the hope of victory before you neatly finish first. When facing a Cersei player in a tourney, you lose your composure and restraint, and generally act as badly as she does, attempting to turn her joy to ashes in her mouth.

Jaime: You used to be a Cersei player, but are turning into a Ned. Winning is no longer as important to you as it once was, and fair competition is becoming more of a priority. You favor sealed deck tournaments.

Samwell: You collect the cards, but do not often play. When you do find time to attend tournaments, you tend to lose clumsily, yet amiably. You enjoy studying your cards more than actually using them. You play by Apprentice more than anything else, and cannot afford an complete collection of any set. You are afraid of the wildling deck.

Jon: You do not spend overmuch on cards, yet have been incredibly lucky, drawing the most desirable rares. You win at tournaments without exploiting the "broken" cards and combos. You are neither a sore loser nor winner, and are well-liked by all. Under your influence, Samwell players attend more tourneys and have more fun.

Arya: You barely have enough money to play this game, and your collection is sparse. Although the odds are against you, you throw yourself against the more experienced players with a fierce abandon. You are not discouraged by your losses, but they still affect you deeply. You find yourself staying awake at night, desperately hoping for the opportunity to destroy them once and for all.

Catelyn: You are an average player with an average collection. You are a pessimist prophesying doom and it is no fun to play against you. You declare both your wins and losses with a dispirited, "I told you so."

Littlefinger: You switch between all the different player archetypes at random, successfully throwing off all your opponents. Your moves are impossible to anticipate, and you come up with some truly original combos.

Shaggydog: You saunter in and sniff around. After peeing on a chair leg or two, you sniff your opponents ass and then lick your own balls. You lose gracefully because you don't understand that you're even playing a game... you're just a stupid animal. You will eat the Wildling deck.

Daenerys: You have to travel hundreds of miles to reach tourneys and, after arriving, spend most of your energy just trying to acquaint yourself with the people, places, and strategies you encounter there. After dreaming of finally winning a tournament, you realize that your dreams were simplistic and naive, and the world is a more complex place than you thought it was. Most of your most valuable cards were aquired as gifts from other players, who think you are hot.