Monday, May 30, 2005

Defining Myself By What I Am Not

Fight Club came out about a year before I graduated from college. At the time it was one of my favorite movies (still is, even though I haven't watched it in years), and I appreciated its message as a cautionary tale as much as I liked Tyler Durden's anti-attachment screed. "You are not the clothes you wear, you are not the car you drive," etc. Angela reminded me of this - albeit obliquely - this weekend. She was fairly derisive of our new house (admit it, you were) and where we chose to purchase our home. At first I was a little pissed off, because I worked fucking hard to get where I am and the stuff I have. But I thought about it a little more. I thought about an essay I wrote my senior year of college, some of which was based partially on Tyler's mantra, where I implored my future self to constantly examine whether or not I was becoming what I most feared becoming.

You are not the clothes you wear.
You are not the car you drive.
You are not your fucking kakhis!

So how am I doing? I offer these corollaries to Tyler's philosophy:

You are not the house you own.
You are not the neighborhood in which you live.
You are not your strange neighbors.
You are not the operating system you use on your computer.
You are not your salary or your benefits.

And, in examining my life, I would say that I have lived up to each and every one of those points.

Edit: This is not intended to be directed at Angela or anyone - the idea here was that Angela's comments steered me to some soul-searching. My apologies if this seems passive-aggressive to anyone. If it is, it's the second-such thing I've done recently that wasn't intended to be so, which is a good indication that perhaps I might need to seriously re-examine how I've been approaching interpersonal relationships these days.

Weekend Of Fun

Sunday, as you can tell, was all SIFF. First the Secret Festival (much better than last week's, but strange as all get-out), then Red Dust, then The Syrian Bride. There were funnybooks in there, and a nice Mexican restaurant in Wallingford.

Saturday we had some folks over for a very nice evening, even though it was damn near 95 degrees outside (not an exaggeration, we have a thermometer on the house). Scott and his friend Jen came over, Angela hung out most of the day, and Seth joined us later in the evening. We grilled meatsas and had a lively discussion about this and that. A good time was had by all. Seth and I got the Arch Rivals machine working, so that was a bonus.

Today, I think I can avoid going into the office by working from home. I'll probably hit the gym this morning (I've been going over lunch - three times last week - and I hit it on Saturday, so a Monday trip will be good for the new schedule I'm trying to develop) and do the rest of my work, if I don't finish before I go. There's a rumored trip to Ikea in our near-future too. Liz is going to price their countertops in the hope that they will be cheaper than the $50 - $90 a square foot stupid Home Depot wants to charge us.

Movie: The Syrian Bride

I was a little disappointed here. Rather than a movie centering around the Arab-Israeli conflict, which is what I thought it would be based on advertising, it focused specifically on the occupation of the Golan Heights and the effects this has on the people there. A Druze woman (click that link, it's worth reading about a religion that's almost unheard-of to folks in the US) in Golan is marrying a Syrian man, and the wedding parties are meeting at the border so she can cross. Various familial things threaten the day's peace: an expatriate brother who married a Russian and was cast out of the village; a father who cannot approach the border or he'll be arrested; a sister who's squabbling with her husband; another brother who thinks he's some kind of pimp. In fact, the Bride herself has about fifteen lines in the entire film, and although you can tell she doesn't want to leave her family forever (once you cross the border, Israel will not let you back) that is barely explored compared to the rest of the familial conflicts.

It was OK, but not as advertised. Would recommend as an interest-film only.

Movie: Red Dust

Sadly, I know little about South Africa's Apartheid other than that a conservative white minority ruled over a black majority in a system of extreme racial segregation, hatred, and human rights violations. The film focused on the later, following a black South African MP (that's Member o' Parliament to Yanks who don't know better) returning to his hometown to challenge a call for amnesty by a police chief who beat him severely in jail - for 31 straight days. The MP also wants to know what happened to an activist friend who disappeared at the same time.

The Truth and Reconcilliation Committee travels the country with former human rights abusers like this police chief, and if they fully disclose their crimes, they receive amnesty for them and cannot be prosecuted for human rights violations. The MP believes the police chief is lying, and challenges him. Old wounds reopen, secrets come out, and the entire town learns some things not only about their white oppressors but about their black leader as well.

But the film's theme is one of the power of forgiveness. It's a striking and powerful message, if a little tired, but given an excellent real-life vehicle to grow in Red Dust. As Liz mentioned on the way home, the real strength of forgiveness is not for the person being forgiven, but for the person doing the forgiving: a quote by Archbishop Tutu at the end of the film mentioning that the reason doors are closed on the past is not so that it can be forgotten but so that it doesn't become a prison serves as an excellent cap to the movie.

It's not one I would watch many times, but it's certainly worth seeing.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Grrl Power

I haven't followed Indy Car racing in some time, but I'm going to record today's race to see how Danica Patrick, only the fourth female Indy Car driver and fastest racer in the final time trials, does. I hope she does well. She's 5'1", 100 lbs, 23 years old, cute and spunky - what's not to love?

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Orson Scott Card On Patriotism

I never had him pegged for a jingoistic rightwinger, and in his defense this essay starts reasonably enough, but by the end Card is so far beyond any reasonable conclusions I wonder why I ever read any of his books or comics in the first place.

Wait, I didn't. And now, I doubt I will.

And Then There Were Six

After I got home yesterday and helped Crabby unpack the last of his stuff from the truck, we decided to go yardsaling. Considering it was Friday evening, there was only one yard sale up and at 'em, so we looped around looking for others. Then we pass a sign that reads KITTENS FOR SALE.

I'm sure you can guess how this story ends.

Earlier that day, Liz and I discussed, once again, adding another pet. Maybe a kitten or a doggie or something. I said that the new pet should be Crabby's pet, and he would take this pet with him when he left. We floated the idea to Crabby when I got home, but I didn't think anything would come of it.

Until we pass a sign that reads KITTENS FOR SALE.

She's a tortie, maybe 8 weeks and unsteady on her feet. Orion loves having a new friend; Miranda seems to think this tiny kitten is dangerous and has been hiding. We'll do the vet thing after the long weekend (you can see how well this was planned out).

If you want to sell something to my wife and I, all you need is a hand-painted sign that reads KITTENS FOR SALE.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Winding Down A Hellweek

Everyone in my department is gone, I'm listening to Eminem, and there's a three-day weekend in front of me. I got more work done than I thought I might today, so I don't think I have to come in on Monday. Depending on how much work I can knock out on the house this weekend, I'll feel a hell of a lot better about things.

I realized that part of why I've been so on edge lately is that the pieces of my life have very little in the way of order at the moment. Work is askew because it's work and it's busy, and home is askew because of the house. Sure there is order in the chaos - we've managed to live around the stuff that litters our bathroom for example - but we need a serious "return to normalcy."

On the upside, Crabby found a job already. Good on him!

Movies: Star Wars and Serenity

Fate handed me a unique opportunity yesterday: the office was going to Star Wars on the same day as the Serenity pre-screening, so I could catch both in less than twelve hours. I must admit, Star Wars was better than I thought it was going to be. The actor playing the Emperor stole the show, and the last 45 minutes were pretty damn good (although the first 45 - I've seen better acting and dialogue in after-school specials).

Serenity I tried to approach with little expectation. The fans surrounding the show I used to consider cute and glad they were dedicated, but I'm beginning to realize their fanaticism is kind of scary. The movie - good, almost great. It played like a 2-hour episode of the show with more of a budget. I'm afraid that broader audiences just aren't going to get it, and the show won't go back on TV where it belongs. There were some great one-liners, and it reiterated my belief that the Serenity/Firefly universe would make an excellent RPG (cough cough), and all around I would certainly pay to see it again in the theaters, but I'm afraid it lacks what the common popcorn-munching moviegoer wants.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Movie: The Lizard

First, I need to thank the Seattle International Film Festival for locating a copy of this movie and screening it. They went to enormous lengths to make sure a few hundred Americans saw The Lizard, but it was worth it.

The film focuses on Reza "The Lizard," a robber doing time in a prison run by a warden who plans to make him go on a "diet for the soul," so that Reza can enter heaven. Reza has obviously had some negative experiences with religion in the past, and this doesn't do anything to change his view. When he sees an opportunity to escape by dressing as a Mullah, Reza, fearless of the religious implications, takes it. Hilarity ensues.

He ends up in a small town where he must pose as the new leader of their mosque. In so doing, Reza is given a unique opportunity: to create a religion built not on the hypocrisy of others and all the negative things he sees other religious people doing, but one that truly represents the positive possibilities of his faith.

I am firmly agnostic and my study of religion is and always has been one born of curiosity rather than personal belief. This movie was inspiring and moving in a way that few others are, not only for its eventual embracement of the good aspects of all faiths but as a simple parable that religion is unique to each person rather than a reflection of the negativity of some of its practitioners.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like this movie will ever be on DVD, and except for the one copy screened at SIFF 2005 it will probably never make it outside of Iran (where it was banned for being sacreligious). If you ever get an opportunity to see The Lizard, don't pass it up.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Gay Marriage And The Family

There's an excellent op-ed piece in the Boston Globe about the state of Massachusetts 1 year after the legalization of gay marriage. And, contrary to popular conservative belief, schoolchildren are not raping animals in the street and the sanctity of two people who love each other coming together to exchange vows has, if anything, been strengthened.

I Am All That Is Man!

This weekend, we finished the Den. Not 100% done, but enough to move the furniture into it, set up the home theater, and have a room we can actually live in for a while. Crabby is crashing on the couch, but we should have his room emptied of shit today or tomorrow. We might have done it last night, but as we pulled into Home Depot, clouds of steam were pouring from under the truck's hood.

Our assessment: a radiator hose. Time of problem: 7:45.

We fill the radiator with water and drive it home. We locate an auto parts store and tell them to hold a top hose for us.

Cost of hose, connectors: $16.50 total.

We drive back and go to work on the truck. Radiator fluid leaks all over my driveway. The hose is hard to remove, but I've done worse. At least it isn't a serpentine belt.

After the old hose comes off, we clean the area and slide the new one on. Time of completed repair: 9:30.

We both felt virile and strutted a little.

Work has been surprisingly good too. I recently nominated one of our products for a major award and received it; I entered the same product in several other awards categories, so hopefully this is a good sign of things to come. It's nice that I'm seeing some major payoff for my PR efforts rather than the stuck-in-second-gear stuff I've been forced to accept in the past (sorry for the car reference, it's still on my mind). I'm working on a fiction project for something at the company which will likely go uncredited, but I can still throw sly references to my friends and family in there and no one will be the wiser.

Tonight, more SIFF stuff. And I've got a bunch of Netflix movies to burn through. And a bunch of DVDs I haven't seen yet.

Does anyone have a few hundred extra hours I can borrow?

Monday, May 23, 2005

Good News, Everyone!

Rumors have begun that brand-spanking-new Futurama content might be released on DVD. More news as it develops!

Just Can't Get Enough

If you haven't been so innundated by the Star Wars blitz that you're ready to hang yourself, you'll want to check out an ASCII interpretation of the first (Episode IV) film.

Opposing the Nuclear Option

I haven't blogged (much) about politics lately, largely because I haven't had the time, but I'd like to speak up now regarding the movement to end the filibuster for judicial nominees in the Senate.

I don't feel self-righteously against this measure, partially because I don't believe it will have nearly as much of an impact as some on the left insinuate it does. However, at this point in time - taking into account National IDs, the Patriot Act, openly unconstitutional actions from the House, openly unconstitutional actions from the White House, and a push to consolidate power and control under the guise of making people safer, I have to oppose it on moral grounds. We've been comprimising too much; we've been settling and allowing them to whittle us down. We're frogs in a pot, and the water is getting pretty warm.

To sign the petition to oppose the "nuclear option," go here. It'll take all of ten seconds. No one party, Republican or Democrat, should ever has as much power as the Right is attempting to take. It's long past the time to do something; let's hope its not too late.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Movie: Layer Cake

And last night, we caught Layer Cake, the next in a series of formulaic British gangster movies (see Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels). It had a lot going for it, including a very self-aware style of referencing other films in the genre only to turn the scene on its head, but it didn't quite come together in the way I wanted it to. It also seemed like, no matter how hard it tried (and it did try), it wasn't quite treading new ground. Don't get me wrong, there are some great moments - especially some of the dialogue - but I don't think I'd buy it on DVD.

Movie: Ladies in Lavender

We kicked off SIFF by hitting this little Brit-Dramedy Friday night. I couldn't pass up Judi Dench and Maggie Smith in the same movie, with a supporting actress who is the spitting image of our friend Mary. The plot focused on two elderly women in Cornwall who find a young violin player washed up on the beach by their house. The themes of letting things go and the healing power of music certainly aren't new, but the wonderful acting put a refreshing spin on them and carried through what could have been a train wreck. It seemed like some editor got a little too overzealous with it, and trimmed about ten important minutes out of the movie, but it was an enjoyable film with an excellent end.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Seattle International Film Festival

The Seattle International Film Festival kicks off today. I'm going to see, in no particular order: Layer Cake, Ladies in Lavender, Howl's Moving Castle, Red Dust, Deep Blue, The Syrian Bride, The Lizard, Bombon el Perro, Night of the Living Dorks, R-Point, and A World Without Thieves. It looks like it's going to be a great festival, but it's my first so I'm sure I'll have a great time regardless.

Freep This

A poll asking whether Hillary Clinton will make a good president (scroll down, it's on the left - hehe).

Friday, May 20, 2005

6 AM

That is the time I woke up to paint this morning. This house is eating my brain. I just want it finished so I can go back to a semblance of a normal life and work on it like a hobby.

Because I Don't Link to Pravda Enough

In a fine showdown between human stupidity and logical reasoning, an astrologer is suing NASA for the Deep Impact probe.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Too Many Secrets

Via Sully, an online gallery of secrets sent in by postcards. Absolutely riveting.

Strange Mail

At work I get a lot of strange magazines, often trying to solicit me for advertising (since I'm the groundpounder in our ad department as far as buying goes). Here's one that our events manager recently received that made me, well, LOL.

So You Think You Can Survive?

Find out just how long you can survive a zombie attack. I'm ashamed to say that I'm only gonna last a day.

Bill Maher Nails It

In his most recent "new rules," Bill Maher says:

    New Rule: The people in America who are most in favor of the Iraq war must now go there and fight it. The Army missed its recruiting goal by 42% last month. More people joined the Michael Jackson Fan Club. "We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit." And now we need warm bodies. We need warm bodies like Paula Abdul needs...warm bodies!

    Now, last week, a Baptist minister in North Carolina told nine members of his congregation that unless they renounced their 2004 vote for John Kerry, they had to leave his church. Well, if we're that certain these days that George Bush is always that right about everything, then going to Iraq to fulfill the glorious leader's vision would seem the least one could do. And, hey, if it makes it any easier for you, just think of it as a reality show: "Fear Factor: Shitting Your Pants Edition." "Survivor: Sunni Triangle." Or maybe it's a video game, "Grand Theft Allah."

    Now, I know you're thinking, but, Bill, I already do my part with the "Support Our Troops" magnet I have on my Chevy Tahoe. How much more can one man give? Well, here's an intriguing economic indicator. It's been over a year since they graduated, but neither of the Bush twins has been able to find work. Why don't they sign up? Do they hate America or just freedom in general?

    And that goes for everybody who helped sell this war. You've got to go first. Brooks and Dunn, drop your cocks and grab your socks! Ann Coulter, darling, trust me, you will love the Army. You think you make up shit!

    Curt Schilling, b-bye! You ended the curse on Boston. Good. Let's try your luck in Fallouja. Oh, and that Republican Baldwin brother, he's got to go so that Ted Nugent has someone to frag.

    But mostly, we have to send Mr. And Mrs. Britney Spears. Because Britney once said, "We should trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that and be faithful in what happens." Okay, somebody has to die for that. Or at least go. Hey, maybe she'll like it. Hell, she's already knocked up. That'll save the MP unit about ten minutes.

    And think of the spiritual lift it will provide to troops and civilians alike when actual combat smacks the smirk off of Kevin Federline's face and fills his low-hanging trousers with dootie.

    In summation, you cannot advocate for something you wouldn't do yourself. For example, I'm for fuel efficiency, which is why I drive a hybrid car and always take an electric private plane. I'm for legalizing marijuana, and so I smoke a ton of it.
The one about Chinese tattoos is excellent too.

Zombies, Day One

I worked right up until my zombie RPG tonight (sorry Roger - I promise I'll call tomorrow!) I'm actually getting caught up at work - staying superlate last week and later tonight really put me where I need to be, and it's nice not to feel completely overwhelmed.

The group for the zombie game was a little different; we were joined by some new faces and Seth couldn't make it, so Jon was the only familiar one from our other Tuesday sessions. The game settled in fairly nicely; it'll be interesting to see what happens when we add Seth to the mix and everyone's sober. There was some surprisingly good roleplaying, so its always a pleasure to see that happening.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Play Us A Song

I do love a good mystery involving musical talent and British-style intrigue!

Monday, May 16, 2005

The New Star Wars

I really enjoyed the new Star Wars movie.

All RPGs Must Be Played

Our kitchen is all but done; Liz is mopping it as I write (a one-person job, so I'm trapped on this side of the house with the Internet). I'm moving the fridge from the living room back to its appointed space in a few minutes, and after that there's one small section of white paint that managed to escape my earlier touch-ups that shall be eliminated.

We got back from running errands in Seattle - me to my comic shop and us hitting the supermegaTarget at Northgate for some much-needed house supplies. I picked up the revised copy of All Flesh Must Be Eaten in anticipation of running a game using the system on Tuesday, and a Bag 'O Zombies to go with it. I was going to run the game using the Savage Worlds system, but I'm not terribly keen on the "heroic" level of characters that game creates; it's fine for many other roleplaying situations, but for where I'm planning on taking the All Flesh game, it should stay within the system of "normal people who can die very easily."

Hopefully the others at the office will want to give it a spin.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


Here's a little something based on an idea I've been tossing around in my head lately.

    Sofa and toes curl together
    As unimaginable horrors destroy countless lives
    In high-definition with digital sound.

    Late at night, like shuffling cards,
    Glimpses of those hungry faces
    As I half-awake walk to the bathroom.

    Rather than turn away from the horror
    Seeking on my own terms and facing again
    The endless redefinition of nicht-zu-Hause.
Comments welcome.

Welcome to the Neighborhood (the GOOD Neighborhood)

The cable guy came at the tail end of his four-hour window this morning, so I now have home Internet again. Huzzah. Prepare to see some house pictures.

I met and spoke with at length my neighbor on the other side - or at least her sister, who visits a lot. She had two kids in tow, and there's a third that lives there who doesn't speak English much (she's from Costa Rica). We were talking about home improvement and they got the tour of the house, including the Pole Position machine, the giant TV, and the cats. The cats were the primary focus of kid attention, followed by the other two.

I mention this because I haven't had a kid in my house since I was first married, so it was a few years ago. And I realized as the kids were going around marveling at my stuff and how cool it was, that I might really have succeeded in maintaining some of my youth somewhere in there - maybe not quite Peter Pan, but I'd like to think that part of me never quite grew up, in a good way.

Also, they came over to borrow something, so I know that I'm in suburbia now!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Want to Find a Job? Shop For An Employer

Here's a unique way to look for a new job: shop for an employer. Note: this isn't me.

Ruminations on Friday the 13th

Today was a good day. The sun was blazing when I woke up, and there was a purring cat three inches from my face. Things could have been worse.

It was a jewelled cap to a pretty crazy week, though. I pulled a very long shift last night to get caught up on my work, and for the most part I'm where I need to be - which is to say still behind, but not to the point where it's crushing my spirit. There's a real ghost of negativity infecting my office these days, mostly coming from one individual who seems to have a very difficult time seperating her personal life from her work life. She's one of those people that just being around her wears down your spirit, because she's constantly negative about everything. I'd like to think that I'm negative when it's warrented and generally positive the rest of the time, so naturally my personality and hers clash. Its ugly.

Work on the house, well, goes. We're behind schedule of course, and it looks like we're not going to get to where we need to be before Crabby gets here next Friday.

Friday, May 13, 2005

The Face of Modern Conservatives

Somehow, while we were all asleep listening to tales of the undead child molestor and some spoiled-little-rich-cracker-bitch runaway bride, we missed that the Republican Congress passed legislation that will require is to have a National ID card. That is, in addition to a Social Security card, each and every citizen of the United States will need an electronic form of identification that can be read at a distance of 15 feet - so a cop could scan your personal information (and criminal record, I suppose) as you walk by in the street.

But what will be on this card? Will it show that we're on some terrorist list, or potential terrorist list? If we've made enemies of the wrong government employee, will that be reflected? And what if someone steals our information? There is no computer system impervious to hacking; this will be no different.

Maybe it's just the liberal in me, but I don't think I'll be participating in this little project. I'm sure that means I'm anti-American, or not patriotic, or some other neoCon gobbledygook, but I think it is only appropriate to look those control freaks in the face - and anyone stupid enough to vote for those freaks - and say this:

Fuck you. Fuck you for being so stupid. Fuck you for being duped into voting for them. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you a thousand times, because those of us who are smart enough to make intelligent decisions are going to be the worst ones affected by this.

Fuck you if you want to keep watching the shadows on the walls of your cave. Some of us have been outside, and we don't care to join you in your ignorance. Fuck you for being so fucking stupid, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

You got everything you deserve, you stupid fucking redstate moron fucks. Unfortunately, you dragged the smart people down with you to wallow in your pigfilth fucking stupidity.

Lynching Madness

News out of Cannes - David Lynch is working on not one but two new films!

I never wished I could be in France so badly.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Notice to Fevered Egos

You are not more important than everyone else. You karmically poison your environment through your negativity and self-centered-ness. If being liked to your face by a few inconsequential people is more important to you than doing your job and letting others be, you need help.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Tell Sad Stories of the Death of Kings

Unfortunately, one of my favorite shows in the last ten years is now officially cancelled. I could complain about American television audiences not appreciating good TV, but instead I think I'll just imagine all the great times I'm going to have with my DVDs - and plan a role-playing adventure similar to the series.

End Writer's Block

If you want a concept for a comic book, check out this random crimefighting duo generator.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Seattle Browncoats Front and Center!

How much are you willing to pay to see Serenity first?

Become a Serenity Snob

Because I like helping the common folk, here's a secret.

If you want to be one of the few, proud, select elite who get to see a Serenity screening months before the rest of the free world, simply refresh a hundred thousand times a day until they post a time and location near you and have your Fandango account ready when the time gets posted.

Coonfighting: The New Cockfighting

I woke up this morning around fiveish to the sound of my cat galloping full-tilt under our bed and barricading herself there while growling at nothing. For those not in the Pacific Northwest, this is the time when the sallow light coming through the windowshades is just enough to make you think you don't need to turn on the light, so you end up sticking your bare foot into a semi-dried hairball your beloved pet has left you as a present beside your bed.

When she wouldn't quit growling, I woke Liz and told her that something was wrong. We decided to explore what aspect of our new abode might have caused this distress. Of course, I'm trying not to think about the various horror movie explanations.

As we got to the living room, it became apparent that there was some kind of fracas on our lawn. A noise like squeaking children, and some furry shapes moving very quickly. I wiped the eyecheddar out and tried to focus: there were at least two raccoons tearing each other apart. Then, I saw the third raccoon, kind of presiding over the fight like a referee. It would occasionaly go in for a hit on the smaller raccoon, but most of the time it was waddling off to the side or up on its hind legs for a better view. They fought like cats, which is to say with lots of neckbiting, head-grabbing, and kicking with the rears. In fact, I thought the two were beating up a cat until Liz said she saw three big fuzzy raccoon tails and bandit masks.

Something scared them, and they ran off.

I wonder: if I can capture these creatures and make them fight, maybe I can make some money off my redneck neighbors in booking bets?

I'll explore this option.

Monday, May 09, 2005

House Update: First Blood

The house drew first blood this weekend as I beat the hell out of my finger with a hammer. Now there's an enormous blood blister there, and a nice scab. But the baseboards are all done in the kitchen and we should have the whole fucking thing painted by the end of the week - and probably make a lot of progress on that den too!

HDTV and Gaming

Seth pointed me towards this fascinating article from the fine folks at Penny Arcade on the future of HDTV and console gaming.

Glad to hear that someone else is getting it.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Leave Them Kids Alone

If I was this student, I probably would have done a lot more than used profanity.

Still No Home Internet

That's right, no 'Net connection at home, so if you're waiting patiently for real content to return to the puppet show, you will have to keep waiting.

In other news, Esquire had this to say regarding a movie I care nothing about:

    So this ordinary, middle-class American male walks into a bar. "A beer, whatevers on tap.", he says, slapping down a fiver. The bartender, smiling, reaches below the bar, audibly unzips his fly, and a moment later produces a tall glass that looks suspiciously as if it might be full of warm urine. But our guy is a trusting soul, and he gulps it down anyway. Big mistake. He retches, curses, and then storms out, furious.

    Three years later, the same guy walks into the same bar and asks the same bartender for a beer. No problemo, says the bartdener. Zzzzip. Handed what again looks like something better suited to a specimen jar, the guy barely even hesitates. Down the hatch it goes, and then halfway back up the hatch again. Tears of rage are shed, a lawsuit is threatened. Exit the dude, livid.

    Three years later, the same guy walks into the same and asks the same bartender for a beer. You're waiting for the punchline. It's not a joke, I'm afraid. It's a parable. The guy is you, the bar is the neighborhood cinema and the third steaming glass of piss you're about to be served with a smile is called Star Wars: Episode III.

    For God's sake, don't drink it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Beastly Comics

So if the number of the antiChrist is really 616, does that mean the Marvel Universe is the beginning of the End?

Obligatory Zombie Post

Mental note: check out Ed and His Dead Mother when I have a working TV again.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

The Gothic Alphabet

For parents looking to add a little gloom to their children's lives, I recommend teaching the ABCs with the Gothic Alphabet.

House Update: I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

Yesterday I proved my manliness by created a doorway. This may not sound like much, but it was the first full home improvement project I did entirely on my own and with power tools, with no real advice from friends. And, if I do say so myself, it came out looking pretty darn good. I may need to shim one of the planks (heh, I said "shim") but overall I toast my success!

Drama Update

When we got home yesterday, the car door was shut and the dog was no where to be seen. He was outside fixing the screen on the front door, and after that he disappeared. There was a light on last night.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all is well, and that she had a friend come over and pick her up.

Updates as they come.

Monday, May 02, 2005

All Moved In

Yup, we're all in the new house. Our bedroom is kind-of arranged. The kitchen is coming along. I fixed the dryer vent. All is well.

As a welcome to the neighborhood present, a sheriff showed up at our wannabe-trailer-trash neighbor's house yesterday, with the woman in tow. She wanted in. The husband didn't want her in. Sheriff insisted. She went in, she left. Later she comes back. She leaves the car door of her car open (maybe it's a quick trip)? She goes in. She doesn't come out. He doesn't come out. No lights on in the house all night. Car door stays open all night. Dog stays outside, no leash, all night. This morning, same story.

If car door is still open when I get home, and nothing has changed, I think the sheriff is coming back.