B Movies

Anyone who knows me reasonably well knows how much I dig B movies. B movies are those flicks that aren't factory-produced Hollywood blockbusters, but still manage to entertain. They don't pretend to be intellectual, and they serve no purpose other than to allow you anywhere from ninety to a hundred and eighty minutes of quiet time. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're scary, and other times they're cheesy action flicks.

For example, this evening I watched The Warriors, a fantastic adventure-action flick made in 1979. You know a film is great when it can hold its own for twenty-five years and still come out looking great, which it does. I think anyone who was a kid in the early and mid 1980s remembers The Warriors.

This is the premise of the film. The Warriors of the title are a streetgang from Coney Island who head to The Bronx for a big gang meeting. At the meeting, the guy who called all the gangs there is wasted, and The Warriors are accused of the crime - so, they have to fight their way from The Bronx back to Coney Island in Brooklyn, across Manhattan. That's all. It's a series of fight scenes, held together by a pretty loose premise. But you know what? It's entertaining. It's lots of fun to watch.

I guess I'm feeling a little punchy about the whole B-movie thing because of Cabin Fever. Cabin Fever was one of my favorite movies of 2003, because it was a goddamned entertaining piece of horror flick. It had some nice funny bits, a lot of over-the-top gore, and enough of a dose of psychological horror to keep things interesting. It never pretended to be anything else, and it was the most profitable horror film of last year. And yet, film snobs can't quit ripping on it.

The bottom line is, I just can't fathom the rancor with which these guys go after Cabin Fever. A lot of them are horror junkies, and a lot of them like some really shitty films. With a genre like horror, it's really hit or miss, and a lot of it depends on taste, I suppose. But it's not like Cabin Fever is supposed to be high art or anything. I mean, it's about a bunch of college kids who rent a cabin and die one by one to a flesh-eating virus. Citizen Kane it is not.

Here's a fact about my wife I learned today. In high school, when she worked at Arby's, sometimes she would eat pieces of frozen cookie dough. A chick after my own heart.

Gigantor keeps fucking up. I've had it less than a week and the power button is fucked up. That really pisses me off.