Thursday, January 15, 2004

Alone at 8:30

I've been in quite a funk this afternoon. You'd think between Gigantor and the WizKids Galactus announcement today that I'd be in a great mood, but for some reason the opposite is true. Maybe it's because I've been sitting at my computer all hunchbacked for the last hour trying to work on a novel that, for whatever reason, just isn't coming. It probably doesn't help that my music keeps switching between Lou Reed, Jimmy Eat World, and The Pixies either. It's just kind of one of those existential moments when I feel alone. Not that Elizabeth isn't here (well, she's at a dog training class at the moment), but it's worse than that. I still feel like the new kid, the intruder, at work - not necessarily in a professional context (although I've certainly gotten that vibe more than once lately), but in a social context. For whatever reason, I still feel like the outsider looking in, like I still can't quite let my hair down and be myself. I can't really put my finger on why, no matter how much I try.

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