Exterminating the Exterminator

I'm beginning to suspect I may have been taken for a ride.

I place a phone call to the exterminators yesterday, asking when they planned to remove the test-traps from my attic and crawlspace and when they were going to send me the report as to what exactly was wrong with my house.

Secretary: They left the report with you.

Me: No they didn't.

Sec: Yes they did.

Me: No, they really didn't. They left me a note, in my mailbox, that said they would mail my report.

Sec: Oh no, I have a copy of your report right here, but it's our copy. They gave you your copy.

Me: No, they didn't. Can you send me a copy of your copy? (I'm obviously dealing with a real gem here, so I opt for the path of "whatever gives me what the fuck I need as quickly as possible")

Sec: What's your fax number?

Me: XXX-XXX-XXXX

Sec: So are you going to go ahead and fix it? (WTF?)

Me: No, I'm going to look at the report first!

Sec: OK sir, I'll fax it right away. (She's calling me sir - this means that she thinks I'm getting pissed off.)

Me: So when are they going to come get the traps?

Sec: Well, it looks like she's booked up all this week...

Me: Wait a second - so if there are animals in these traps...

Sec: Well, have you noticed a smell? (Seriously, she said this.)

Me: No.

Sec: Well, you should be OK.

Me: Well, no. There could be animals starving to death in my attic and then starting to rot in the heat up there.

Sec: Well, sir, she's fully booked.

Me: Why didn't she make the appointment when she was here?

Sec: Wait, it looks like she's got something at 4:00 on Friday.

Me: That's fine.

So she faxes the report over. It looks fairly extensive except for one thing: nowhere does it state how much it will cost to fix all the shit they're claiming is wrong.

Liz has, quite intelligently, decided to get a second opinion.

If you're considering Eastside Extermination for your critter-killing needs in the greater Seattle area, you might want to consider someone else.