Life's Goings On

Astute Puppeteers will note some changes in the right nav, which can only mean one thing: I've had a couple of days off work! It's true: starting at 4:00 PM - only one hour later than scheduled - on Friday, I left my troubles and worries behind and started a four-day break, including the two weekend days. We had a splendid Christmas get-together, played a lot of video games, and shook off the non-relaxation of last weekend's power deficit.

In Keifer, They Have a Scorpion Problem

Now there's something you don't have to worry about in Seattle that much: scorpion problems. But in Keifer (Oklahoma, where my friend's brother lives and was recently stung by such a creature), you do. Which is to say, I spent the last week in Tulsa with kith and kin, enjoying a few days off and the company of loved ones.

The trip is one of highlights: seeing my brother, fixing a main course for Thanksgiving dinner, introducing my nephews to Settlers of Catan, getting to know my parents new cat, a trip to a bar where I suddenly became a complete convert in Washington State's smoking ban, and generally just a good time. This is the first trip home where I felt more a stranger than a part of things, not because of the company, but because I've seen myself grow in the past few months without necessarily being conscious of it and sometimes it takes facing older parts of yourself that you left behind to remind yourself of that.

It's worth mentioning that it was in the high 60s and low 70s for most of my trip, and as I pulled into the coffee shop in Bellevue where I'm writing this, it started to sleet.

Some things, I'd keep if I could.

Thanks Giving

My health.

My friends and my family.

My job, and the income provided so I don't have to worry about things like food.

A roof over my head, and a warm place to sleep.

My talents and abilities.

My perseverance.

My ability to allow myself to continue to grow and develop.

What are you thankful for today?

So It's Not a Quote or a Movie or a Video Game

Life's been interesting lately. Work has moved from super-busy to boring back to busy, and my work on Fallout d20 has certainly rekindled a bit of the creative juices, but my lack of time prevents me from taking too much advantage of it. I'm at a strange point in my life; I feel like something's missing, and it's something I need to find myself. One of my coworkers recently quit to travel to South America for nine months; I envy him. I don't want to leave, I just want to do something more personally significant and meaningful. It's a hard thing to describe, and it's something I'm not sure is possible given my current position.

Nor do I think there is a decent answer. My overall feeling is one of satisfaction; I've got a great house, a good group of friends I can spend time with, and a lot of things I should be thankful for (kind of in the Protestant sense, I suppose.) But I just don't really feel like anything I'm doing is of any lasting significance. If there were 48 hours in a day (and I still only had to work 8 and commute 2), I would have to time to do what I want to do. I suppose that this is some kind of karmic balance; in high school and college, I would put off anything "important" and "for school" until the last possible minute, choosing to goof off the rest of the time, whether it was through video games, writing, working on something, or just hanging out with my friends. Perhaps this is life's way of saying I didn't apprecaite what I had when I had it? But I don't believe that, because the very reasons I acted the way I did was to take advantage of the time and the opportunities afforded me.

I don't want to turn this into some kind of emo, poor-me whinefest, because that's not how I feel. I guess I'm stream of consciousnessing things I'll be able to come back later and read myself (and until that time, will stand as an Internet-permanent testimony to me working through what's eating me.) And hell, I use a (lot) (of) (parenthesis!)