We're Done Here
I registered JasonMical.com in 2005 and intended to migrate this blog over there back then. Hey, 2012 isn't too late to finish the job.
There will be no more updates here. The show will go on at jasonmical.com.
pup·pet n.
A small figure of a person or animal, having a cloth body and hollow head, designed to be fitted over and manipulated by the hand.
A writer reigniting his love affair with his muse while making his way in a strange world. Visit jasonmical.com for more.
This blog contains the opinions of Jason Mical. Those opinions do not reflect those of his employer, or his employer's client(s).
I registered JasonMical.com in 2005 and intended to migrate this blog over there back then. Hey, 2012 isn't too late to finish the job.
There will be no more updates here. The show will go on at jasonmical.com.
Posted by Jason at 1/27/2012 12:27:00 AM 0 comments
My friend Roger Whitson pinged me early on Twitter yesterday and directed me to a post by Mark Sample on Play the Past: What Comes before the Platform: The Refuse of Video Games. It's a good article and makes some very salient points about a side of gaming that people don't want to talk about, what Sample sums up as "Pre-Platform Studies:" what goes into making the things that play the games we play?
Specifically Sample's talking about the long lines of supply that go into producing the raw materials that are fed into the factories that are made by workers into things they will never personally be able to afford. It's a tale of slavery, coercion, warlords, organized crime, exploitation, and Western consumer ignorance. Go read it - it's a good post and hits the points better than I could myself.
If you don't feel some measure of guilt over this, you should. |
That's more like it. |
John, stop the car, Ringo's got out again. |
Waggle Wiimote to pick locally-sourced food. |
I don't want to think about the exploitation it took to create these pixels. |
Video game screenshot of the awful working conditions at a fictional video game company. Meta as fuck. |
Posted by Jason at 1/18/2012 09:34:00 PM 1 comments
Labels: analysis, marketing, software, theory, video games Digg Del.icio.us
I meant to write this post a month ago, but my experiences coming home for the holidays reminded me I never got around to it, and it seems like as good a time as any to put this down.
What inspired this is the variety of reactions I get about losing weight from my friends and family, especially people who haven't necessarily seen me in a long time. I can tell it makes some people uncomfortable (for whatever reason - it's not my place to speculate) but it also elicits some well-intentioned behaviors in others that, frankly, are a pain in the ass to deal with. So undersand that I've written this as a friendly and helpful tips, and I fully understand that the last thing my friends and family want to do is hurt me; I just don't think people realize how things come across sometimes. I want people to see things from my point of view without coming across like an overbearing jerk, so please take this advice in the spirit it's given.
So, some tips for interacting with a former fat guy.
1. You don't have to keep offering me food; or, no means no. Food is wonderful; it tastes good, and it's an inherent social driver for our culture. It's also something that I had a very self-destructive personal relationship with that I have repaired for my own health and well-being.
A key part of that process for me was identifying both what I wanted to eat and in what quantities. I'm really good at keeping my diet sustainable. I know full well how much and of what I can eat. You don't have to go out of your way to prepare super-healthy stuff when I'm around, but if you're serving biscuits and gravy don't expect me to take a massive bowl of it.
Let me put it this way: it's very obvious that I've lost a good deal of weight in the last seven years (it's hard to hide the physical change of 150 pounds off.) Looking at me is a reminder. You know I've lost a lot of weight. So, please ask yourself this: if I was a recovering alcoholic and you were aware that I used to have a self-destructive relationship with alcohol, would you offer me a drink? Would you continue to offer me drinks throughout the day if I politely refused the first one (or two?) How do you think I would feel if you did, even if I knew you were doing it out of politeness?
Apply that to food. It's not a perfect correlation but I would argue that what I'm recovering from is very similar to addiction, and the mental processes I use to stay healthy is similar to how recovering addicts make it through the day.
I don't like to throw food out but if you heap a bunch of it on my plate after I tell you not to, I will. Also understand that it's a lot harder to control portions once the food is on your plate. I still nibble. I'm only human. I know my weaknesses, and I control them by not putting the food on my plate in the first place. Like the booze, I know where the food is and if I really want to make that choice I'll do it myself.
2. Yes, I'm still self-conscious about my weight. Please understand that as much as I'm proud of what I've done that being fat left lasting psychological damage, in no small part related to the fact that my weight gain was directly linked to my depression. You don't have to reassure me. I appreciate it, but honestly it's best just left alone. And yes, looking at pictures of me when I was much heavier is very uncomfortable for me. That's why I've personally only kept a handful myself.
3. I want to inspire you but in a healthy way. I've noticed that when I'm out with people they'll often pick up on the fact that I'm ordering healthy, smaller quantities or loading up on fruit at the salad bar and skipping the full-fat ranch dressing. Then they turn around and order something way outside of what they would normally eat. Cool, let me inspire you; in fact, that's one of the best parts about having made such an achievement is helping others see that it is possible. That being said, understand that the me you see now and the way I eat now is the result of seven years of constant, hard work.
Say you went to a martial arts competition and saw a guy jump through the air and break 15 bricks with his hand, and you thought, "that's freakin' awesome. I want to do that!" and you go and break your own hand trying to break a single brick. That dude worked up to where he is; so have I. If you try to jump on the train at my stop, you're going to end up hurting yourself, or worse doing something unsustainable with your diet and turning around and getting even madder when it doesn't work out.
Having spent seven years gaining weight and seven years losing it, I can say this: it's not something that comes easy and it doesn't happen overnight. You're going to make small failures and backslide and lose heart and hope along the way. But if you want to lose, really want to lose, then talk to your doctor and start doing something sustainable. You may have to lose a bunch to kickstart yourself (like I did with two different low-carb diets.) You may need way more exercise than I did. It's going to be different for you, but it is do-able. Don't break your hand trying to smash some bricks. Train up to it. It's really the only way it will work.
4. I'm not judging you. For some reason I get the impression that people feel judged, especially around their choices at mealtime. Guess what: it doesn't matter to me what you're eating (unless you feel guilty and try to get me to eat more because you're feeling that way, in which case see #1.) I don't care if you're fat or skinny or eating a ton or eating like a bird unless I feel like you're directly putting yourself in danger, in which case as a friend I would say something - just like I would hope you're doing the same for me.
Please understand that, if you feel like you need to lose weight, what I want most is to inspire you, not judge you. You'll have to make that decision on your own though. Hopefully my experience will help serve as a realistic way to show you how it could be done.
Posted by Jason at 12/16/2011 07:18:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: family, friends, humor, tips, weight loss Digg Del.icio.us
I started not understanding Occupy Wall Street's purpose. I fell into the media trap of reciting a talking point: they have no message! But the more I spoke to members of the movement, people online, people at Occupy Seattle itself (yes, I've been a few times), the purpose and message became more clear. Occupy started focusing itself as well, which helped. Switch to Credit Unions? Yeah, I get that. And old friend who worked in finance until 2008 (heh) has been telling us the same thing for months. The Beautiful Competition's been saying it for years.
The more I learned about Occupy, the more I realized I've seen this before. I was quite an activist in my college days: supporting Nader in 2000, working on a certain filmmaker's TV show, railing against corporate greed and a fundamentally corrupt system.
Youthful Indiscretions |
Yes, it's the protesters who are messy. |
Come mothers and fathersMuch of this coalesced last week when I read this stunning article about a Catholic's loss of faith after the Penn State pedophilia scandal. It's not so much about a loss of religious faith but a loss of faith in institutions, leaders, and those who should be serving as role models. In a way it's the loss of faith in the boomers who protested war but put us in this situation by allowing the monied interests to have their way with America. I grew up on The Simpsons: the first episode to hit Fox came out in my very formative fifth grade year. The Occupy grew up on South Park, a far more nihilistic cartoon lampooning literally everything. For The Simpsons generation, there are institutions we should still be able to trust. For the Occupy generation, the South Park generation, just a few years younger than me, they have been raised to suspect and distrust literally everything.
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
Occupy Paper Street |
Posted by Jason at 11/22/2011 03:09:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: 9/11, Bob Dylan, Bush, Fight Club, Michael Moore, Occupy Wall Street, OWS, Penn State, political activism, politics, protesting Digg Del.icio.us
Because I'm trying to get away from subjecting my friends and family (OK, my family) on Facebook to my political views, I'll post this here instead.
One of my favorite little facts about America: those states who receive more federal money than they contribute to the tax base are almost identical to the states who routinely support candidates who propose doing away with such programs. This is not a new trend at all.
Attention conservative red state welfare queens: I'm tired of my hard-earned tax money being taken out of my state and reallocated to yours, where you guys don't work hard enough to support yourselves. Why don't you go get better jobs you lazy right-wing conservative bums? I mean seriously, surely there must be some well-paying jobs in your states somewhere. That's why all of us fled for the coasts, right?
Until then though we should put your fantasies into reality, remove the subsidies us blue-staters are paying into your states, and watch your states roads, schools, and infrastructure crumble even more. Because that's how a community ought to support itself by your own rules and standards, right?
Or maybe we could all, you know, support each other. Like us awful class warfare liberals have been advocating - and you all have been taking advantage of while calling us names and taking away our rights in the same breath.
Hypocritical jerks. There, I called you a name. Although I'll just use a conservative argument and say I'm "refusing to be politically correct" and you can't argue with me, nyah nyah!
Man I'm out of practice at this whole rant thing.
Posted by Jason at 11/13/2011 03:49:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: conservatives, liberals, political correctness, politics, rant, taxes Digg Del.icio.us
Hey, did you know its National Novel Writing Month?
I realize it's supposed to be a way to motivate aspiring writers to actually get off their asses and, you know, write.
For some reason it always turns into feelings of guilt and anxiety when I see a half-dozen writerly friends updating their word counts and I don't realistically have time to plow through several thousand words a day for a month.
The problem is my own. I need to set lower goals first: I've got some short story ideas knocking around I should finish off. With the ease of e-publishing these days, I could just release a collection of stories on Amazon, post it on Facebook, get a few dozen sales from friends and family and I'm on my way!
Call that "National Writing Anything To Keep Some Kind of Momentum" month.
Posted by Jason at 11/07/2011 06:34:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: national novel writing month, writing Digg Del.icio.us
Blogging's a funny thing. You don't do it for more than a year, realizing you've just kind of left a part of yourself dangling out there (and let's face it, a pretty esoteric closing post to boot.) Then you write one letter to Google and tell yourself "hey, I should publish this somewhere other than Plus so I can actually, you know, find it in a week" and all of a sudden you've got ideas for blogging again.
Blogger's gone and got itself a new interface. It looks like the rest of Google's interfaces: less Web 2.0 and more Tech 2015. I feel like I'm using an interface designed by Apple's interns.
My life has changed in many ways in the last 15 months. New job. New tech. New games played. New hobby (winemaking). The anti-greed movement I've been a part of since college has gone and made itself more mainstream by camping out in public parks. My dog's grown up, and one of my cats has moved on.
In other words life is moving forward.
My problem with blogging has been writing for the sake of writing. Therefore my previous mission statement still stands: I will only write if I feel I have something of value to add to the conversation.
Otherwise, you can just catch up with my personal shit on Facebook, and my more newsy shit on Plus. And when I occasionally dip back into Twitter... well... I don't reliably use it anymore because the value just wasn't there.
Posted by Jason at 11/05/2011 03:22:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: blogging, writing Digg Del.icio.us